Once upon a time, youth would listen to elders who had reached a level of respect
and responsibility within the village. Now, many of our youth listen to, and aspire to become, those who have the most money
and reflect the “good life”. If not listening to the richest, our youth listen to each other
and those celebrated others who aspire for riches and fame “by any means, necessary”.
Once
upon a time, elders aspired to levels of respect, authority, and responsibility within the village. Now, our elders strive
for positions within boardrooms and bedrooms that insure them of wealth and celebrity. If not aspiring for worldly prestige,
some of our elders have become embittered, burned out, cynical, and frightened by the future.
The
other day, I was approached by a young woman to fill in as teacher in her dance class, while she conducted workshops in another
part of the country. I was delighted because I have always enjoy being a part of any class of diverse generations, cultures
and levels of enthusiasm. More importantly, I appreciated her invitation because I was very sensitive to remaining low-keyed
in the class in spite of my years of dance experience. Still, I thought that this sharing of the experience gained from creating
three successful dance companies in the past would give me another opportunity to give back to a new group of diverse dance
enthusiasts.
Instead, I later became aware that the young teacher was not inviting me to be a “guest
instructor” at all, but rather a “substitute fill-in” of her vision regarding how to conduct the class.
She wanted the class to run exactly as if she were there without any deviations or possible personal expressions by the students
or the “filler” teacher. It never dawned on her that by inviting an experienced teacher might indicate to me that
she was comfortable with giving up her control temporarily and that she recognized that there were other ways of doing and
teaching dance beyond her own experiences.
Realizing just how much discussion it would take to
explain that her instructions were both creatively limiting and personally offensive (and also risking the possibility of
my being misunderstood and possibly ostracized from the class!), I diplomatically declined the invitation without going into
much detail about my reasons. Still, I regret that this opportunity to share was a missed one…for all of us…because
of a failure to appreciate what some elders bring to younger generations based upon personal expertise and experience. You
may or may not agree with my decision, but I think this situation may address your initial inquiry.
You
ask “where have all the role models gone???” I counter your question with another question, “where are the
young ones going without incorporating the experiences of older generations??? Granted, young people have
tremendous energy, enthusiasm, and intelligence. As a mother and grandmother, educator, minister, and artist, I am very proud
of the generations that I have reproduced, cultivated, and contributed to the world. Granted, each new generation has an opportunity
to advance and provide for those yet unborn. However, there is still a need for recognizing and appreciating the expertise
and contributions that years of experience bring to the lives of each generation.
Not always are
we going to function based upon the terms of young people, alone. Neither are all of the experts found within boardrooms,
recording studios, sports arenas, or onstage. My generation is also the result of descendants who required us to differentiate
between what we needed from them, and what we needed to respectfully set aside. Today, it is difficult to even get an audience
with a generation that is connected globally and inter-generationally, but has little or no tolerance for anything or anyone
that represents “the past”. Still when given an opportunity, each generation faces the other fully recognizing
that something is missing.
Collective work and responsibility requires an open and willingness
to listen to each other’s approaches no matter what the age. Based upon years of preparation and development, many elders
have stories to tell that were often neglected or under-rated by their own parents and peers as well as today’s young
people. Even some educational, social, and religious organizations have submitted to the cries of young people in order to
become more relevant and current, but at a loss of known common sense, academic excellence and group history and authenticity.
As one who also challenged the system of my parent’s generation, I am also grateful for the
opportunities when I did listen critically and analytically. When given information that challenged me, I learned to listen,
incorporate it, and often benefited from different perspectives.
Is your generation willing to listen
to challenging views? Is getting your attention only by using the newest gadgets of communication? Can we just find time to
sit down and talk to one another and “agree to disagree, mutually and respectfully”? I would love to be a part
of such a community comprised of multiple generations, “from the womb to the tomb”!
The
role models you require are not far away. Many are waiting to be asked to respond on their terms and without your contemporary
pre-conditions. Some are very comfortable with the process of aging, and have looked forward to their time of filling the
shoes upon whose feet we all stand. While each generation brings its own style of living and learning,
there is still a bit of the predecessor in each of us.
Let us listen and learn
to appreciate each other’s differences without our fingers or phone pods stuck in our ears. Perhaps, you can build that
inter-generational community through this publication. If you do, count me in!!!!
Lovingly, Sistah
SharonM...
